CHAPTER 2

THERE COMES A TIME when you're losing a fight that it just doesn't make
sense to keep on fighting. It's not that you're being a quitter, it's just that you've
got the sense to know when enough is enough.

I was having this thought because Todd Amos was hitting me so hard and fast
that I knew that the blood squirting out of my nose was only the beginning of a
whole long list of bad things that were about to happen to me.

Todd's next punch crashed into the side of my ear and I fell on the floor and
pulled my knees up to my chest and crossed my arms in front of my head like a
turtle in a shell. I started scooching toward the bed hoping I could get under it.

Todd started kicking me but his slippers couldn't hut me near as much as his
fists had. The bedroom door opened and his mother, Mrs. Amos, came in. It
seemed like she was having a hard time figuring out what was going on
because Todd's right leg got tired from kicking me and he switched over to his
left one while she watched.

Finally Mrs. Amos said kind of soft, "Toddy?"

Todd looked up, fell on his knees and put his hands on his throat. He started
huffing and puffing with his eyes bucking out of his head and his chest going
up and down so hard that it looked like some kind of big animal was inside of
him trying to bust out. This was my chance to get under the bed and pull the
covers down so they couldn't see me.

Mrs. Amos ran over to her son and fell on her knees. She put her arms around
his shoulders.

"Teddy? Teddy boy, are you all right?" She looked over to where I was peeking
from under the bed. "You little cur, what have you done to Toddy?"

Todd coughed out, "Oh, Mother ..." He took in two jumbo breaths. "I was only
trying to help ..." --he was sounding like a horse that had been run too hard in
the winter -- "and ... and look what it's gotten me."

Todd pointed at his jaw and Mrs. Amos and me could both see a perfect print in
the shape of my hand welted up on Todd's blubbery cheek.

With one quick snatch she had me from under the bed and out on the floor
laying down next to Todd.

"How dare you! This is how you choose to repay me? Not only have you struck
him, you have provoked his asthma!"

Todd said, "I just tried to waken him to make sure he'd gone to the lavatory,
Mother. I was just trying to help." He aimed his finger dead at me and said,
"And Look at him, Mother, this one's got 'bed wetter' written all over him."

I'm not bragging when I say that I'm one of the best liars in the world but I got
to tell you, Todd was pretty doggone good. It seemed like he knew some of the
same things I know, the things I think of all the time and try to remember so I
don't make the same mistake more than seven or eight times. Shucks, I've got
so many of them re-memorized that I had to give them numbers, and it seemed
like Todd knew Number 3 of Bud Caldwell's Rules and Things for Having a
Funner Life and Making a Better Liar Out of Yourself.

RULES AND THINGS NUMBER 3
If You Got to Tell a Lie Make Sure
It's Simple and Easy to Remember.

Todd had done that. But this wasn't really a good test because Mrs. Amos had
her ears set to believe anything Todd said. In her eyes Todd's mouth was a
prayer book.

But I can't blame Todd for lying like that, having someone who likes you so
much that they think everything you say is the truth has got to be a liar's
paradise, that might feel so good it could make you want to quit lying. But
maybe not, 'cause Todd hadn't quit lying since the second I came to his house.

What had really happened was that I woke up from a good sleep because it felt
like a steam locomotive had jumped the tracks and chug-chug-chugged its way
straight into my nose.

When I'd jerked up in bed and opened my eyes Todd was standing next to me
with a yellow pencil in his hand. He was looking at it like it was a thermometer
and said, "Wow! You got all the way up to R!"

He turned the pencil toward me, crunched up against the headboard. I saw
TICONDEROGA printed on the yellow wood.

The whole room smelled like the rubber from the eraser and I was winking and
blinking my left eye because it felt like something had poked the back of my
eyeball.

Todd laughed. "I've never gotten it in as deep as the N on any of you other little
street urchins. I just might enjoy your stay here. Who knows what other things
you could be number one in, Buddy?"

I'd already told him twice that my name was Bud, not Buddy.

I didn't care that Todd Amos was twelve years old, I didn't care that he was
twice as big as me, and I didn't care that his mother was being paid to take care of me. I wasn't about to let anybody call me Buddy and stick a pencil up my nose all the way to the R.

I swung as hard as I could at Todd's big balloon head. Somewhere between the
time I threw my punch and the time it landed my fist came open and when my
hand landed it made a pop like a .22 rifle going off. Todd fell on the floor like
he'd been cold cocked.

He sputtered and muttered and felt the spot where I'd slapped him. Then a big
smile came on his face and he stood up and started walking real slow toward
where I was on the bed. He untied his robe and dropped it on the floor like he
was getting ready to do some hard work.

I jumped to the floor and got my fists up. Todd might've been a lot bigger than
me but he'd better be ready, this wasn't going to be a bird's nest sitting on the
ground for him. He could kiss my wrist if he thought I was going to let him
whip me up without a good fight.

Being this brave was kind of stupid. Even though Todd was a puffy, rich old
mama's boy who wore a robe and slippers he could hit like a mule and it wasn't
too long before I'd decided enough was enough. But the story that Mrs. Amos
was hearing from her lying son was only that Todd had tried to wake me up so
I could go to the bathroom.

Mrs. Amos hated bed wetters more than anything in the world and my bed had
a sticky, hot, smelly rubber baby sheet on it. She'd said it wasn't anything
personal and after I had proved myself for two or three months I could get a
proper cloth sheet but until then she had to protect her mattress.

She pulled Todd to his feet and led him to the door. She looked over at me.
"You are a beastly little brute and I will not tolerate even one night with you
under my roof. Who knows what you would be capable of while we slept?"
The door shut behind them and I heard a key jiggle in the lock.

I plugged the right side of my nose and tried real hard to blow the smell of
rubber out of the left side.

The key jiggled in the lock again. This time when the door opened Mr. Amos
was standing with Mrs. Amos. He was carrying my suitcase. Uh-oh, they'd
looked inside. I could tell because the twine that held it together was tied in a
kind of knot that I didn't know.

This was wrong. They'd promised they'd keep it safe and not look in it. They'd
laughed at me when I made them promise: but they did promise.

"Boy," Mrs. Amos said, "I am not the least bit surprised at your show of
ingratitude. Lord knows I have been stung by my own people before. But take a
good look at me because I am one person who is totally fed up with you and
your ilk. I do not have time to put up with the foolishness of those members of
our race who do not want to be uplifted. In the morning I’ll be getting in touch
with the Home and, much as a bad penny, you shall be returning to them. I am
a woman of my word, though, and you shall not spend one night in my house."
She looked at her husband. "Mr. Amos will show you to the shed tonight and
you can come back in tomorrow for breakfast before you go. I do hope your
conscience plagues you because you may have ruined things for many others. I
do not know if I shall ever be able to help another child in need, I do know I
shall not allow vermin to attack my poor baby in his own house."
She talked like this and she wasn't even a preacher or a teacher. Shucks, she
talked strange like this and she wasn't even a librarian.
I only halfway listened to what Mrs. Amos was saying, I was too busy keeping
my eye on my suitcase wondering if they'd stolen anything from it. And
thinking about getting even.
When I thought she was done talking I reached my hand out for my suitcase but
she told Mr. Amos, "Oh, no. we shall hold on to his beloved valuables." She
laughed. "This shall be our assurance that nothing comes up missing from the
house and that this little animal is still here in the morning. He is far too
attached to those treasures to go anywhere without them."
Mrs. Amos was one of those grown-ups who could always think of one more
thing to say. "And that is not all. Before you retire to the shed you shall go to
Todd and apologize or I shall be forced to give you the strapping of your life."
I'd been so worried about my suitcase that I didn't even notice the thick black
razor strap hanging out of Mrs. Amos's hand.
She didn't have to worry, I'd apologize. One beating from these Amoses was
enough for me.
She grabbed my arm. Mr. Amos walked out of the room with my suitcase, and
Mrs. Amos pulled me down the hall to Todd's room. We stood outside the door
listening to Todd groan. When Mr. Amos came back, my suitcase was gone.
He'd been so quick that I knew my bag couldn't be too far away.
She tapped on Todd's door and said, "Teddy, may we come in?"
Todd's groans got a lot louder. Finally he said, "Yes, Mother'-choke ... cough-
"come in."
We opened the door and as soon as he saw me Todd got a real terrified look on
his face. He scooched up to the headboard and wrapped his arms around his
head.
Mrs. Amos gave me a shake and said, "Well?"
I put my head down and started shooting apologies out like John Dillinger
shoots out bullets. I aimed at Todd first. "I know it was wrong of me to hit you.
I know you were only trying to help and I'm very sorry for what I did."
I looked at Mr. Amos. "And sir, I'm sorry that I got you out of your sleep."
He rolled his eyes like that was enough for him. Mrs. Amos was going to be the
hardest because just like her ears were set to believe everything that came out
of Todd's lips they were set not to believe anything I said. And if I didn't lie
good enough she was going to use that strap on me. These Amoses might look
like a bunch of cream puffs but if she was anything like Todd I bet she could
pack a real wallop.
"And Mrs. Amos, I'm so grateful for all of your help. And I'm really, really
sorry"
I looked up and could see she needed more. "If you give me another chance I
promise I’ll do a whole lot better. Please don't call the Home, please don't send
me back." Shucks, going back to the Home was just what I wanted to do, but I
was being just like Brer Rabbit in one of the books Momma used to read to me
at night when he yelled out, "Please, Brer Fox, don't throw me into the pricker
patch, please, please!"
This was another one of Bud Caldwell's

​

Rules and Things to Have a Funner
Life and Make a Better Liar of Yourself.

RULES AND THINGS NUMBER 118
You Have To Give The Adults Something That
They Think They Can Use To Hurt You By Taking It
Away. That Way They Might Not Take Something
Away That You Really Do Want Unless
They Are Crazy Or Real Stupid.
They Won’t Take Everything Because If They Did They Wouldn’t
Have Anything Left To Hold Over
Your Head To Hurt You With Later.

I stopped talking and gave Mrs. Amos a chance to jump right in.
She held her hand up in my face and said, "Enough. Mr. Amos, give him the
blanket and pillow off the bed he was in and put him in the shed."
Todd said, "Yeah, Buddy, keep a sharp eye out for the vampire bats in the
shed." It was like a miracle, Todd's asthma was gone and he turned into a real
chatterbox. "Oh, and watch out for those spiders and centipedes, Buddy. The
last kid who got put in there got stung so bad he was swollen up as big as a
whale when we got him out in the morning."
I guess I didn't look scared enough 'cause Todd kept going. "The kid before that
hasn't been found to this day. All that's left is that big puddle of his blood on
the floor. Isn't that right, Mother?"
Mrs. Amos said, "Now, Teddy, hush up, you'll just tire yourself out more."
I noticed that she never denied the things Todd had said about the vampires and
centipedes and spiders and puddles of blood.
As I followed Mr. Amos I kept a sharp eye out for my suitcase.
When we got to the kitchen the first thing I saw was that there was a doublebarreled
shotgun leaning against the side of the icebox. I didn't have time to
wonder why they'd be so scared they'd keep a big gun like that out in the open
because I spotted my suitcase slid way under the kitchen table! I didn't let Mr.
Amos know I'd seen it, but it did make me get a lot calmer. We went out of the
back kitchen door and down the steps into the dark. We walked around to the
back of the shed and he put a key in a padlock. A chain rattled, the lock came
off and the door creaked open.
Even though it was nighttime there was a whole different, scarier kind of dark
in the shed. A colder dark with more grays and more shadows. A old smell
leaked out and it seemed like it was the perfect smell that all this gray would
have.
Mr. Amos nudged me and I took a baby step into the shed. He could kiss my
wrist if he thought I was going to beg him and say things like "I'll do anything
you folks ask me if you don't lock me up in here all alone." I squeezed my
tongue between my teeth to hold it still 'cause I know a lot of times your brain
might want to be brave but your mouth might let some real chicken-sounding
stuff fall out of it.
I stood a little bit inside and looked around. Right under the window was a pile
of stacked wood. There were a bunch of dusty spiderwebs in front of the little
window and someone had pasted old yellow newspapers over the glass so the
kids who got locked in here couldn't peek out.
Mr. Amos handed me the blanket and pillow and gave me another nudge. I took
two more baby steps in.
I looked down at the floor. If I was like a normal kid I would've busted out
crying, but I just stood there breathing hard. It was a good thing I'd bit my
tongue, because I came real close to saying those stupid begging words to Mr.
Amos. Right in the middle of the floor there was a big black stain in the dirt!
They really were going to make me sleep in a shed with a patch of blood from
that kid who had disappeared out of here a couple of weeks ago!
The floor went completely black when Mr. Amos pulled the door shut. I
couldn't see it now, but I'd re-memorized the exact shape the stain was in.
The padlock snapped shut with the loudest click I'd ever heard.
CHAPTER 3
THE ONLY THING I could hear was my ow